It was probably the first time for me to be honest about my anxiety after the quake. At the moment of panic attacks, I fired complaints at K accusing him of all the preparations that I myself should have done but didn't.

K took me to an emergency shopping to acquire the things that I thought we should have had in preparation for the ever-unfolding disaster. There were empty shelves in supermarkets, but most of the food supply seemed to be running smooth. After I stuffed my shopping bags, sanity returned.

After the quake last week, the planned power-cut in Tokyo has divided my daytime into preparing food and eating meals. It is probably a desirable means to distract myself from the negative thoughts that are triggered by repetitive news updates. To avoid cooking in dark and to make food preservable, I would be cooking and pickling between meals in the afternoon. Usually soon after all preparations, dinner has to be served and finished before electricity is cut off.

Today in the dark we watched a film on laptop together. With a small torch in hand, I looked through the window into the moon-lit darkness. Perhaps it will be full of radioactive substances out there at some point, a thought into which my wild and pessimistic imagination dragged me. But on this side of the window, every moment is peaceful and beautiful together with K no matter what might become out there.

Thank you, K.