My Lunchbox Diary XV

I seriously think that I am running short of ideas for T’s lunchbox, and there are still more than 2 years to go in the kindergarten.

The kindergarten has a more complicated schedule than other places (?). For instance, the pick-up time is different on Wednesday, and it would be a different time if extension is applied. Before last summer, it was even more confusing, the time was different everyday and changed week after week. The purpose of such arrangement means well for children and for parents to get more involved in the children’s school life. However, it also means that the schedule, which was probably established since the great-grandparent owners of the kindergarten, presumes a parent (usually a mother) will always stay at home to cooperate. 

In our household, since both of us are working, T will use extension to stay late on some days when we are both at work or when any of us needs time to work on research. Last summer vacation was also a bit confusing, as another new timetable was applied. I have never been good at keeping time, and therefore I had already missed the pick-up time 2 times before last Monday. 

Last Monday, I committed the same “crime” again. I thought the pick-up time was 14:30, but it was in fact 14:00. When I arrived at the gathering point (children march to and back from the kindergarten from a specific spot), all of the mothers had collected their children, while T was nowhere to be found. A mother kindly told me that T was taken back to the kindergarten, and I rushed to the kindergarten still without realizing that the pick-up time was 14:00. By the time I arrived, they had already phoned K, and K already called me twice and messaged me. I deeply apologized for my mistake to the teachers, and they were kind to say that it was alright. But to me it wasn't. 

I was deeply traumatized by the experience, the third time of the same crime against T. On my bike back, I was almost in tears with an overwhelming sense of shame of not being a responsible parent. 

T and I sat in a supermarket to drink juice together as we sometimes did after I finally got him. I told him that I was very sorry that I did not go to pick him up on time. T said it was ok, embraced and kissed me. 

T is very forgiving on this front, but I am not to myself.

Ever since I became extremely panic about whatever times in relation to the kindergarten. I was found by another parent that I arrived almost 10 mins before the due time; any point regarding the time would make me anxious in conversations. I still need sometime to recover from the trauma; or it is better not to recover so that I will wire myself up to meet all the times.