We visited a local gynaecological centre for the first time on the 19th to begin a 40-week project. By now the small life has already settled down in me for more than 8 weeks. I thought that I should keep some record during this long and patient process, but there is no guarantee of feelings of excitement in my future writings, as readers of my blog would know that I am quite incapable of expressing elated emotion in general.
Before the beginning of the new life, we had been visiting an English-speaking fertility centre in a distant district of the city for a period of 6 months as a preparation. Now, given that the first goal of the project had been reached, we were advised to transfer to another gynaecological clinic nearby to save future toils in traffic. It was an extraordinarily medical and Sci-Fi experience to have this first goal achieved, which I will write at later times.
Compared with other gravidae (forgive me for now for using such medical term instead of "pregnant"), probably I have been quite blessed with the fact that I can still manage to eat despite nausea, feelings of exhaustion, and a forever-present bitter taste in my mouth. I also have managed to pull through in the last bit of the semester and entered into a temporary break of summer.
I have been concerned about down syndrome, a worry that is probably shared by many ladies who are pregnant at a mature maternal age like myself.
During our first visit to the local centre on the 19th, unexpectedly I met my neighbour, NM san, who is due next month. It was her second baby, and her first is an energetic little boy of 4 or 5. We started to chat about pregnancy in spite of my limited medical vocabulary in Japanese and rather shallow knowledge about this life-creating process. I inevitably asked whether she is pleased with the clinic, its facilities and services in general. Then, unknowingly, I started a topic of down syndrome and expressed my own anxiety. She replied that she actually missed the timing for the examination (probably according to medical regulations in Japan) and did not receive any test in the end. The topic was dropped there, and soon afterwards we bid goodbye as I entered a consultation room. Later in the day, K mentioned that a cloud of concern cast a shadow over NM san's face when the topic of down syndrome was picked up, and suggested that it would be better for me to avoid topics like this with other expecting mothers in the future, given that it can be a grave thing to talk about.
Since then I have felt terribly regretful for my imprudence. NM san is a sweet lady, who showed the first sign of kindness to me, a foreigner, in the neighbourhood. Even though we have not been able to communicate much due to the low proficiency level of my Japanese, she is always kind and patient in explaining things to me.
I totally understand the anxieties that I must have caused in an expecting mother like her. Before a child was born, mother, the carrier of the life, is usually considered and feels fully responsible for the development of the baby. The ethical issue of motherhood requires another academic discussion, while emotionally I guess every mother inevitably is troubled by the same worry. Take myself for example, I have quit coffee since the day I got to know that I am responsible for a new life, and I have been taking supplement to ensure whatever I can give to the life in my body. How unthoughtful I must be to have transferred my own worry unto her.
As for the day's consultation, the fetus is about 9- to 10-week's size while it is only slightly older than 8 weeks now. It still takes sometime to determine whether it is oversize or not; however, the doctor, probably trying to be funny, started to talk about the biggest baby that was ever born in the world - 8000 grams, and his own record in practice - 5000 grams. It really planted the seed of worry in me, as I remember that I myself was a huge baby, too - 3600 grams.
I have had a strange desire these days: a desire to do sit-ups, seeing a growing belly below the waist.
As for the day's consultation, the fetus is about 9- to 10-week's size while it is only slightly older than 8 weeks now. It still takes sometime to determine whether it is oversize or not; however, the doctor, probably trying to be funny, started to talk about the biggest baby that was ever born in the world - 8000 grams, and his own record in practice - 5000 grams. It really planted the seed of worry in me, as I remember that I myself was a huge baby, too - 3600 grams.
I have had a strange desire these days: a desire to do sit-ups, seeing a growing belly below the waist.
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